A Change Of Heart + Regaining My Footing | August & September Reflection

It’s Wednesday night and I have to schedule this post for tomorrow. It’s been such a crazy week. I had three exams, Mysoon hasn’t eaten in two days and I didn’t go to the gym once. I know I write a lot about productivity and motivation, but I would like you to know that I can’t do it all. I’ve been dragging myself out of bed at nine every day this week despite the fact I went to bed early. Even so, I don’t feel that stressed. I underestimated how much my high school prepared me for college anxiety because it really isn’t that bad. I can write a whole ‘nother post on dealing with anxiety, so I won’t go into too much detail here.

Basically, I’m saying that this post may not be as pretty as my others considering it’s the middle of the night. Just bear with me.

The last two months have been super crazy for me. My mind literally did a complete 180.  Let’s divide it by months.

//August//

For me, August was half the last weeks of summer and half the first weeks of school. My mindset completely shifted in those weeks. Let’s start at the beginning.

Unpopular opinion, I don’t really like summer break. It’s too long. Once I catch up on sleep and take a trip or two, I get bored. By the beginning of August, I felt stir crazy.

I’ve talked about this before, so I won’t get into it too much. One new thing though was that I felt truly ready to move out. I one hundred percent stand by my decision, but in that moment, I really wanted to move out. Seriously! If I had written my August reflection on time, there would probably be something cliche like: “I can feel this chapter of my life ending” etcetera, etcetera. It’s a good thing I didn’t because that desire took a complete 180.

Before I get into that, I would like to acknowledge how much I’ve been blogging. I’m really proud of myself for being so consistent. During the summer I posted 3 times per week and went down to two posts once classes started. I’m really proud of myself for that. Even so, I haven’t been blogging smartly. I mentioned this in my sophomore year update, so you can read more here. A lot of my effort has been put into blogging consistently. It’s paid off in terms of my pageviews and engagement, but I haven’t been doing a lot to increase my income. I need to start working on that.

If you read my sophomore year update, you also know that life got really busy. In that post, I talked about the glorification of being busy and how I didn’t want my life to emulate that.

At the end of August, my life felt very crazy. I was swamped with classes, my job really took off, and I was blogging a lot more. I almost published Monday, Wednesday, Friday for the whole month, but I missed the last two days of August, which is why my Favorites and Reflection are paired together. I really kicked myself for that.

Essentially, the end of August was crazy. I’m just going to get into September now before I ramble more.

//September//

September is my favorite month. It always has been. Fall is my favorite season even though it still feels like summer in Georgia. This month, I finally established a routine. Life is still a bit crazy sometimes, but I feel like I’ve got my sh*t together.

I don’t feel busy anymore. After a crazy few weeks, my life feels balanced again. For me, a balanced routine includes sleeping 8 hours, working out a few times a week, getting my school work done, getting blog work done, marketing for my job and making money, getting fully ready every day, hanging out with my friends and family, etc.

This is one of the reasons my mindset about moving out changed. I don’t want to think about the extra work that would come with being on my own. It’s wonderful to come home to a meal every day that I didn’t have to cook. I don’t remember the last time I cleaned my room. Living at home is the best thing ever.

I also haven’t procrastinated that much this month. I’m so set in my routine that what I would’ve considered procrastinating before as taking a break. I can’t describe to you how calming it is to not feel any guilt when I’m watching YouTube or playing a game. It’s so nice to not waste any energy on things like that.

I published twice a week every week except for one week. The great thing about this is that I didn’t feel bad

I don’t want to paint my life as a picture of togetherness. I had to finish writing my term paper for ASL in the bathroom on Eid because I had so much to do. (I got a 100% by the way. I have no idea why. It was rushed and I didn’t bother to reread it before I turned it in. My professor commented “very interesting topic and well written!” Blogging has apparently taught me to write well quickly.)

Another thing I want to work on is waking up early. Last year, I would be out of bed by 8 AM, but it’s a struggle to get out of bed at 9:30 now. I have never been a person who needs multiple alarms to wake up, but I have somehow become that person. During the summer, I was struggling to fall asleep at night. I would lay in bed for hours unable to sleep. Thankfully, that’s not a problem anymore. I’ve managed to fall asleep once I get to bed, but waking up is a completely different story. I’ve never been good at waking up, but this is sort of ridiculous.

To end on a happier note. two trips have been confirmed for November. I’m really excited for them. One is to Charleston, South Carolina for Yallfest (Typical college students go to music festivals, but I’m a nerd, so I go to Book Festivals). The second trip is to Disney World. I can’t wait!

//Plan For October//

[Oh my god! Guys. My computer screen just went black and I had to restart my computer. I hadn’t clicked the save button in a while, so I was afraid I would have to write the last few sections again. Phew! I would’ve cried]

Moving on…

October needs to be a month of me getting ahead on everything: school, blogging, etc. November is going to be a crazy month and if things go the way I want them to, so will December, so I need to prepare for that now.  It’s also midterm time.

I have a few fun things planned for this month. I’m going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show with a friend in a few weeks, my mom signed me up to go on my brother’s field trip, and my friend Cindy and I are going to do a photoshoot in Atlanta for my blog. I’ll share an album on my blog’s Facebook Page, so give it a like to get a notification.

I hate it when other bloggers do this, but I’m working on a secret project that I plan on launching in December. I’m really excited for it, but I need to start working on it this month.


 

I wrote over 1200 words. I was really rambling. I’m going to sleep now, so if you’ve read this before I’ve edited it, I’m sorry for any weirdly worded sentences. I’ll fix them tomorrow. Until next time.

 

What interesting things have you done this month? What has life been like? Do you have any big plans for the end of the year?

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