Spontaneity Doesn’t Come Naturally To Me

Two weeks ago, I was on my way to a study lounge to eat lunch and watch Netflix. All the good seats were taken and since it was a Thursday and I had no work to do, I decided to walk to Centennial Olympic Park to eat lunch there.

That’s honestly my favorite place in Atlanta. It’s in the center of the city, there are walking trails, concerts, etc. It’s really nice. The weather was perfect. I just sat in a shaded corner, at my lunch and read. I kept staring at the fountain because I really wanted to run through it, but the practical side of me told me not to, so I sat and read.

I sat there and read for a while and people watched. There were a lot of students on field trips coming back from the aquarium or one of the museums. (I couldn’t read their matching T-shirts.) I saw a bunch of high schoolers run through the fountain. It seemed like so much fun! Which is why I decided to do it too.

It was so spur of the moment that I forgot to take off my shoes (They were wet for the rest of the day.)

Things like this don’t come naturally to me.

I love planning things. I’m an extremely logical person. I always think things through. I go through the pros and cons, I put most of my money in my savings account, I outline all my essays…

But my actions don’t reflect that:

I ask the guy out. I’m the first one on the dance floor. I run through the rain.

I know that a lot of people hold themselves back because of the fear of being judged or things not working out. I am like that, but I have never let that hold me back.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s hard. I get that same feeling of nervousness with a pit in my stomach, but I push through. My friends probably think I’m insane because I’m so tactless in my actions, but that’s my favorite part of me.

I hate to indulge in a stereotype, but I’m naturally submissive. My natural instinct is to do the thing that causes the least amount of stress and confrontation, yet I always go against that instinct. The reason for that is this quote:

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.”  – Lewis Carroll

I 100% agree with this quote. I don’t regret any of the things I’ve done. Even when I was walking around in soaking wet Nikes, I didn’t regret that I went into the water. (I did regret not taking off my shoes, though.)

I keep almost holding myself back. As you know, I’m in college and there are so many amazing things in store for me. I have so many fun things planned, but a lot of those things wouldn’t have gone into fruition if I had followed my natural instinct.

It’s really easy to stay at home and do what you’re expected to do. It’s easy to get a regular job, have a structured schedule, and continue doing what’s comfortable. It’s easy to stick with the friends you have and not attempt to make new ones. But the best things in life happen when you step out of your comfort zone.

It’s easy to read other blogs and watch YouTube videos and assume exciting things happen to those people naturally, but they don’t. It takes a lot of hard work, yes, but it also takes the courage to introduce yourself to a new person, book a plane ticket, take an uncommon workout class… everyone gets that pit in their stomach when starting something new.

My point here is that it’s easy to make the comfortable decision, but I know I’ll regret that easy decision. The reason I’m writing this is that I don’t think I’m the only one who holds herself back. I keep almost making the easy decision, but I decide against it because I know I’ll regret it in the future.

Spontaneity doesn’t come naturally to me, but I do spontaneous things anyway.

 

What did you think of this post? Does spontaneity come naturally to you?

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